good para found in MOCK CAT paper..

To forgive someone doesn’t mean condoning their actions.It just means absolving yourself of the hurt & pain & getting back control over your own life & emotions. It means easing the burden of revenge & hatred from your shoulders & getting on with life. You don’t forgive for another ; you forgive for yourself —- to come to terms with your emotions & to attempt a closure on an episode that refuses to let go of you. If you don’t do that years later you would still be smarting from an action, stuck in a painful time zone , while the perpetrator of all that pain has moved on & put the incident behind him/ her. So , rather than him/her, you are the one living out the consequences of his action!!!